you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
