Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
