we made out on top of his cat.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
