worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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