ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am midnight drunk by noon
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
