the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
