I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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