i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
