You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think people are normalizing furries
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
