Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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