what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
