Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
