mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
