wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
