please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my being single is dangerous.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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