They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
