My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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