So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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