I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
