But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
