quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well most of my day revolves around power hour
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
