Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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