Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
