I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
where are my eyebrows?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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