i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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