what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
