I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
