And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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