I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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