Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
