I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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