did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
