You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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