I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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