So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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