so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
