I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
