And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
