i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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