I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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