Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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