i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
