My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
