Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
