i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
