She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
