If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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