I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
