he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
