i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
